When Existing Feels Like Trespassing

Life in the Crosshairs of ICE

I Wake Up Wondering if I’ll Disappear Today

Growing up in the United States, we were always taught to dream big. As adults, the famous question from teachers in grade school was, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” We would encounter the traditional responses, such as a firefighter, a police officer, the president, a veterinarian, etc. Now, all I want is to survive until my next birthday without the fear of being abducted off the street by officers who are obstructing their official presence as officers by covering their faces and their credentials.

“When truth is replaced by silence, the silence is a lie.”
— Yevgeny Yevtushenko

We were never taught that this would be the reality in the States within my lifetime. I feel unprepared and silenced by an administration that is rapidly trying to force their white supremacy narrative down our throats by any means necessary, even if that means I am removed from my home, even though I am a naturalized United States citizen. It no longer matters when someone follows the rule and the government that administers those laws neglects them because they deem you a nuisance. Call it what it is, it’s the first stages of ethnic cleansing.

1. Dehumanize the Target

First, they strip you of your humanity.
They call you invaders, criminals, parasites.
Language becomes a weapon, repeated until the lie sounds like truth.

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2. Legalize the Discrimination

Then they pass laws to make it all feel “orderly.”
Citizenship revoked. Rights dissolved.
Suddenly, your name, your papers, and your existence are questioned.

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3. Bleed You Dry

They cut you off from jobs, land, and education.
They seize homes, torch businesses, and collapse economies.
Poverty isn’t a byproduct — it’s the point.

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4. Isolate and Watch

You’re forced into camps, ghettos, zones.
Your movements are tracked. Your speech was monitored.
They build walls not just around cities, but around your life.

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5. Push You Out

Then comes the displacement.
Families ripped from their homes, loaded into trucks, or left to walk for days.
They call it “relocation.” But it’s exile by force.

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6. Break You With Violence

Rape. Torture. Execution.
They don’t just want you gone — they want you broken.
So no one fights back. So memory doesn’t survive.

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7. Erase What’s Left

Your history books rewritten.
Graves bulldozed. Languages lost.
Mosques, churches, and schools were turned to ash.

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8. Deny, Distract, Delay

Finally, they deny it happened at all.
They weaponize silence.
And the world, too often, moves on — until the cycle starts again.

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Ethnic cleansing is never accidental.
It’s methodical.
And in some places, it’s not just history, it’s right now.

It’s exhausting just waiting for officers to abduct you. I am starting to have nightmares; these fears are very much part of the reality of the world we live in. But, the question is, what do we do with that fear? Do we freeze in place or act? Will this substack be a reason for my detainment, maybe? Only time will tell, but silence will never be an answer if that means I’ll be silenced permanently. For those who think I may be overreacting, it may be me today, and potentially you tomorrow. Are we willing to take that chance?

The honest truth is that racism, oppression, and authoritarianism only exist when your voice is silenced and you’re afraid to speak up. Silence is an echo chamber of guilt and fear. Oh, the irony, the land of the free for me, not for thee.

All photographs are copyrighted by ©Adriano Kalin.