Constantly living in fear
A statement from a naturalized citizen of color in a nation where skin tone is still treated like a crime.
Explicit content and sensitive language in this article.
To my future defense attorney…
“I am not a nigger. I am not a spic. I am not a thug. I am not a gang member. I am not an animal. I am not a criminal. I am not a rapist. I am not from a shithole country. I am not an illegal alien.
I am a man. I am intelligent. I am a man with a conscience. I am a citizen. I am a human being.
I do not want my character to be judged or diminished because of the color of my skin. My worth, my integrity, and my right to be here should never be questioned simply because I look different.
My story is part of the fabric that defines this country.
I don’t want to die.”
Respectfully,
Adriano Kalin
July 2, 2025
It’s July 2, 2025, and I’m writing this with an overwhelming sense of fear. As a naturalized U.S. citizen, the recent political rhetoric targeting people like me has left me feeling unsafe in my own home. We are constantly told that we don’t want “illegals” in this country and that we should do it the right way. My adoptive family and I did exactly that in 1991. We followed the law, completed every form, paid every fee, and honored the process. But now, the same system that granted us citizenship is being used to question our legitimacy and humanity.
I have studied hard, worked tirelessly, and stayed out of trouble my entire life. I contribute to my community and take pride in being both an immigrant and a citizen. And yet, I live in fear of a knock at the door. The slightest noise outside fills me with panic. I should feel protected under the law, but instead, I feel like I am being watched, singled out, and treated as disposable. It is deeply unsettling to realize that even citizenship is not enough to shield us from persecution. This is not the American dream I was promised. This is something much darker.
I am writing this for my attorney, not only to document the emotional toll this climate is taking on me but to affirm my character. I want it on record that I have lived with integrity, compassion, and commitment to this country. If anyone ever tries to devalue who I am or question my right to be here, let this serve as my voice when fear tries to silence me.
My heart is heavy.
